AnTe bLoGsIdE

Dun force me to speak coz I'll now say nothing but the TRUTH!!

Haiz, lost my cool again... This time round, with the auditor, and my immediate boss... The audtor carefully ask me a question, where i carefully answers his... (must be tactical with him, coz he trys to catch yours words to make it into his advantage).... So I replied to his intent (no hiding) but my boss, dunno she dun understand the question or she's trying to hide from the auditor la... Then the auditor try to catch my words, saying that I said another version which differs from what I've said yesterday.... But his prhasing of question was different from yesterday... Damn, they are sly... Anyway, the way he asks me until I very 'pek chek' with him...
So I show abit of 'tu-lan-ness' to him, whenever he trys to say something, den I'll interrupt saying 'oh, so from you, my guys no need do this liao lor'... Wah, den he change his words quickly oso la.... Trying to change topic oso... Bloody no balls....

Anyway, when my boss says another thing, I show a very 'tu-lan' face in front of them... Coz I feel that she's trying to cover up something... where i dun think it's necessary to cover up... Juz say never do lorr, get NC also no choice ma.... It can wake everyone up.... The job is not done by me solely, but requires everyone's participation... If 1 of them dun do the task, everytime, someone has to clear ir for them.... and most of the time, is me.... Why has it always gotta be me?? So, I've been attacking the auditor, giving tu-lan faces, rasing my voice to stem out on certain issues which i beg to differ... Towards lunch time, the audit says break for lunch, and he went on for his lunch....

After he left, my boss shouted at me in front of my colleagues... 'Wanna fight, after audit den fight can or not? Dun fight here'... Den she ask me go to a seclude place to tok to me why I get so fustrated...

I told her everything which I had in mind... Yes, though I'm highly regarded in the area of work, but that doesn't mean that I have to do everything... I've tried to task out the various people to take certain tasks, but none has came to me to take over the task... The thing is, I'm too junior to hold the post and maybe, i believe, some thinks that who am I to task them to do (especially those who are really more senior than me)... Moreover, the tasks which I had been doing, should be distributed and done by at least 6 people... 1 meeting, 2 emails, 2 times talk with my boss, nothing done.... Past 2 months, I've been burning 1 of my weekends off (meaning I've been playing less mahjong)... The thing here is, am I the only 1 responsible for running the show, while everyone is paid for to do the job.... It not that I din teach them what to do, some of them are juz plain LAZY... People dun like changes, of course, who likes it... But my philosophy is, since you are paid to do your job, you jolly well do it... I've been suffering this 6 men tasks for the past year, complaining about me tasks overload, but still nothing done...

I've highlighted it before the audit on these issues, my boss just kept quiet... Nothing said, or done.... Today, I told her off straight in the face that I'm not going to do anything until she distributes the job.... There were like about 20 over audit findings, i just pre warned her... I'm serious about not doing anything, as long as she dun do anything about the re-allocation... At most, we all die together lorr... I'm prepared to even be interviewed by higher mangement of this improper management by my immediate boss.... Although this immediate treats me very well, but I think I juz had enough...

What makes my blood boil even more is she can tell people that I keep on holding information/tasks and never distributes out... Told her before that I'm in NO position to do that as there are many seniors around.... I've tried to ask for help, but everyone says they are busy with their own things... Come on la, who is not... So, it's not that I wanna hold on to tasks, but unable to distribute....

This whole matter make me realize something important.... Knowing too many things is no good, just know what is necessary to make you perform you job. As a hokkien saying 'kiang jiu ho, mai gae kiang'....

And I've told my boss to keep me out of this audit briefings further, coz if they were to probe further, or say something which I beg to differ, I'll really say nothing but the truth.... I know the consequences will be very great, that is why, I choose to retreat for this audit.... and maybe for the next one (if i'm still in this demanding organisation)

posted by AnTe @ 10/19/2006 11:17:00 PM